Today we refrain from humor so that I can bring an important matter to your attention. Do not let your babies walk after consuming massive ammounts of baby libations (aka milk). The effects of milk on a growing baby are not yet 100% known. Sure it may build strong bones, but what about the rest of the body? I am convinced that it is no good for coordination or balance. To prove it to you, I have experimented upon myself for the greater good of babies all around. As the videos of my experiments will demonstrate, milk clearly has adverse effects that you must consider immediately.
Exhibit A: Here is Me after a few sips of milk. As you can see the effects start to set in almost immediately.
Exhibit B: Here is Me after a few more sips of milk. With actions that are beyond my control, I am now making crazy sounds and walking like a zombie.
Exhibit C: Here is Me after finishing the glass of milk. I now have a complete inability to follow any sort of line and would fail a police sobriety test even on Bourbon Street.
Exhibit D: After sleeping it off for the night to clear my head, I proceeded to the control part of the experiment by drinking a bottle of water. I think the results speak for themselves.
Note: No babies were physically harmed at the time of these videos. No promises can be made about future psychological problems that may result from the parties in question viewing these videos 14 to 15 years down the road.
